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My Self Image Today
Ironically—I’m the definition of undefinable. Normally people would say something like, “If you look up freakish in the dictionary, you’ll see my picture underneath”—but that is not the point to me. I am not word, I am not line, and I am not a girl that can ever be defined. It’s like trying to find a needle in a hay stack, or finding Waldo in a crowd of people; I’m definitely hard to decipher. You can say, compared to a Ballerina in a mosh pit—I’m as scantly as a hen’s teeth.
As brave as a child taking on the dark alone; as stubborn as a mule, as deep as a trend at the bottom of the ocean, and definitely as out-casted as Kovu in Lion King, even though a times it doesn’t seem that way. To myself, I am my own super hero, but my weaknesses defeat me since I care so drastically for other people.
I end up putting myself in harm’s way to be sure of their safety. As problems are thrown my way, I fight my nemesis for the sake of the world, quickly stopping my battle to defend the needy-getting blasted enemy away. As enemies fulfill my mind, I believe it took over my mind. I’ve been through everything from eating disorder to self-harm.
My eating disorder took my mind and wrapped it around my body, twisting and turning my thoughts to make me believe in thing that weren’t true.
Pulling my thoughts in and out of social anxiety and depression, my eating disorder destroyed my mind, leading my self-harm to destroy my body. My scar fills my legs and arms, trying to tell me who I am. They whisper to me saying, “You’re Worthless”, trying to manipulate my mind along with the eating disorders, to harm myself even more. Since I’m a super hero, I defeat my enemies and gained their power. It made me stronger than I ever was before. Overpowering my hard nemesis alone it makes me proud to be who I am. Though I’m hard to understand; I’m brave and I’ll do anything it takes to get what I want.
When I know I’m right, I stand up of what I believe and I won’t back down so it makes me as stubborn as a mule. I’m deep because I have great understanding for everyone because I know what it’s like to be unhappy, and even though I may be an outcast, I have no problem with it. I’m not afraid to actually show who I am, I don’t care what people say because I know what is true and what’s not. All I care is expressing who I am and making people happy even if they don’t like my personality. Standing for what I believe and doing what’s right, I am passionate about everything I do, and nothing can stop me. Though my caring may be my kryptonite; I keep gaining more powers to keep me strong and take on any enemy that comes at me. Even if it’s my competition for this school, the only thing I would say, “Come at me bro, I’ll take you on one handed and blindfolded” because it doesn’t matter, I know I can do anything if I put my mind to it.
Date: Dec 12,2021